Listening to some Neil Young
“Tell Me Why” thinking of a friend. Missing him & his guitar melodies.
Young says, “is it hard to make arrangements with yourself, when you’re old enough to repay but young enough to sell?”
Meanings change as experiences stack up like cordwood. Understanding follows at its own whim.
I miss the haunting notes that flowed from his Martin. I miss the laughter we shared from his covertly ironic yet accurate observations.
I’m sitting in the dark as daylight once again peaks from the east. Just another day. Coffee. Lunch. Dinner. But I realize it’s not. It’s never just another day. I remember a day when I was so low & so lonely that even I didn’t know.
But he did. He knocks on my door & hands me this beautifully handcrafted guitar Truly artwork in an instrument. He sits down on the floor, as he often did, legs intertwined like a Buddha. He tells me quietly, “I’m worried about you,” and I didn’t realize it but he did. Our actions often betray our words. He loved & cared enough to do what many would never do–speak honestly. He said, “I KNOW YOU! Something’s wrong so LET’S talk about it.” And, you know, we did. And I still have that beautiful guitar hanging prominently on my wall–a reminder of hi honesty–his directness–his love.
A moment in a day like many moments in many days that go unnoticed–forgotten. But not all moments are created equal.
We carried on with life sharing sharp chords & flat notes–happy & sad moments. All of the richness that is wrapped up into a true friendship.
We never spoke of that devine appointment he had with me. And if I would have brought it up, he would have, as quickly, dismissed it. His efforts were in enjoying today, forgetting yesterday, and not worrying about tomorrow.
Neil carries on with his thoughts, “Tell me lies later, come and see me
I’ll be around for a while.”
As we all know, we never forget the past. We only hope to control what we rewind in our mind so it doesn’t control us.
My only question is, he was there for me when I needed someone most. Where was I when he needed me most? Another regret to add to my shelf of regrets.
I’ve heard that “life is the art of drawing without an eraser.” I think. I wish I had an eraser. I would need a jumbo.
All I can say is I love you guy, I’ll absolutely miss you, and I’ll see you soon. Oh. To be clear, later than sooner, God willing.